Thursday, August 26, 2010

No Bun in This Oven, thankyouverymuch

While I was dropping Carter off at daycare this morning, one of the women who works there sidled up to me in the kitchen while I was putting his bottles in the fridge and said with a knowing look (insert heavy Armenian accent) "You are looking pregnant lately."

Awesome. Apparently I either have to cut back on the cupcakes or stop wearing old maternity shirts to work (which, in my defense, are NOT actually maternity shirts because I bought 'em at Forever 21, but they are admittedly flowy - but it's 95+ degrees in the valley, people! Give a hot mommy a break!).

A few short years ago a comment like this might have sent me into a tailspin of self-loathing and eating disordered behavior, in keeping with your typical 20-something Los Angeleno female. But no more. This body made a person. This body pushed him out drug-free! This body is the only one I've got, and by damn, I will eat my cupcakes and wear my $7 shirts and work it.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Some days I feel like I really have my shit together and that I’m balancing this whole working mother thing just fine. Then other days I hear "Cat's in the Cradle" on the radio on the way in to daycare/work and I think "VERY SUBTLE, UNIVERSE. THANKS A LOT" and the media planner in me thinks that the jackasses at KRTH should NEVER play that song during morning drive time, lest the commuting mothers of Los Angeles rise up and storm the station in protest. Some other days I want to burst into tears just sitting here at my godforsaken desk staring at this accursed screen all day.

Like today, when my baby woke up with a slight fever at 3am and then was fussy and in and out of sleep until 5:20, when he was up for the day. And he was better - normal, even - so I took him to daycare, and then when we got there he just wanted to crawl up on me and snuggle on my chest and didn’t want his bottle, didn't want me to leave. And I just wanted to whisk him away and play peekaboo and read books and bounce balls and go for walks and point at dogs and birds together all day.

But I can’t. Because it’s a busy time of year, and I have work to do. So I’m here. And he’s there. Right down the street, and yet so far away.