On this particular morning, I happened to be passing an older woman standing in her yard, surveying the neighborhood. This lady inhabits the odd-duck house on the street - overgrown lawn, chain-link fence, chipping paint - sticking out like a sore thumb amongst its manicured neighbors.
I have seen this woman standing on her lawn on prior morning walks, but I have never interacted with her. Yet as I walked by today, precariously balancing my morning coffee while attempting to soothe my fussy baby, she looked at us and stated flatly, "The sun's in his face. That's probably why."
I chuckled and kept walking, but in my head an entirely different exchange played out.
"Why THANK YOU, Random Lady! What insight! I'm sure that my 12-week-old son is certainly not capable of moving his head. In fact, I know NOTHING about this creature strapped to my chest! Hey, I know!! Why don't you move in with us and help raise him, oh wise one? Would you like to take the 3am feeding or the 5:30? Because clearly you are some kind of baby-raising savant, shouting precious words of advice to all the bedraggled mothers passing by your shack. Woo-whee! How fortunate am I that the guru of childcare lives right down the street?!"
These are the thoughts that race through my mind when I am confronted with unsolicited babycare tidbits from strangers.
Listen up, friends - perhaps I may look like an unwed teen mother with my Converse, Dodger cap and make-up-less face, but I can assure you that I am of age, and that this child and I are doing just fine, thanks. So take your well-meaning words of wisdom and shove it, folks!
Did I mention that I get a wee bit cranky when sleep-deprived?
1 comment:
I had the same reaction to a woman who was standing behind me in line at a car rental place! She asks, "Is this your first baby?" "Yes," I say. "I can tell. Because you're holding him wrong."
She then proceeds to show me that I should put my second hand behind his back to guard against him reeling back and falling out of my grasp! Haaah.
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