Wednesday, May 4, 2011

I Miss Coffee

The title basically sums it up on this one. Carter's two bottom canines are coming in, so for the past week or so he's been waking either in the middle of the night (fun!) or well before 6am (ditto!). Mama's tired, my friends. I am dreaming about a big, dark, steaming cup o' joe, preferably from the BEST coffee shop in Los Angeles (tourists, take note) King's Road Cafe. Oh god, it's heavenly. Toss some cream and agave in that bad boy and we're ready to rock.

I've read that pregnant women can have up to three cups of coffee a day, but I have never abided by that rule. During pregnancy #1 I totally abstained, and wouldn't even drink tea - herbal OR caffeinated (there was too much conflicting info on safe herbs, and it all messed with my neuroses). During this pregnancy, I am more lax - I drink mint tea (organic, with only mint leaves - no funny business), and have an occasional soy latte. I try to minimize soy during pregnancy, given the supposedly increased risk of hypospadias linked to soy consumption, but by damn, I love me a soy latte. Plus, a quick jump around the Starbucks website revealed that a decaf soy latte actually has less caffeine (5-10mg) than a hot chocolate (15mg).

During my first pregnancy, I wouldn't even consider drinking a latte, even a decaf one. But back then, I also kept a running tally of every bite of food I ate to ensure I was eating an optimal amount of produce, protein, calcium, calories, fiber, yadda yadda, and was convinced that all the waiters in Los Angeles were conspiring to feed me unpasteurized cheese and thereby kill my baby.

Times have changed.

Now I have a toddler who basically occupies every moment of my time that is not devoted either to work, sleep or the 4.5 seconds of attention that my husband gets between Carter going to bed and me passing out on the couch. I simply don't have time to satisfy my obsessive-compulsive tendencies like I did as a first-time preggo in '09. Sometimes I feel a little guilty that I don't dote on this in-utero kiddo exactly like I did with The Roo, but it's just not realistic.

And with that, there is relief. I am trusting myself to nurture #2 without going crazy about it. Crazy obsession is my comfort zone, so to step outside it, to give myself that freedom, is an adventure for me.



Erica said...

From one crazy obsessive to another - right on!

Erica said...

I mean - right on about trying to NOT be crazy obsessive.