The Plague Strikes Back

Well, there's only one thing that would cause me to take five days to write after posting about my pregnancy (yeehah!), and that's SICKNESS, and lots of it.

On Monday, I woke up with one flaming red, oozy eyeball. What's that, you say? What the hell is wrong with your janky eyes now? Yes, you'd really think I spend my spare time rooting face-first through dumpsters for all the problems I have with my eyes, but the fact is that I seem to be cursed with the most sensitive set o' peepers on the planet. And blind as a bat to boot. Jealous much?

Carter's eyes were fine, so I dropped him off at school and rushed to my trusty eye doctor. I trust this man - after all, he's the one who finally alleviated my chronic blepharitis and dry eye last fall with a little bottle of magic drops, which I used only after much reassurance from said doctor that they were safe for a breastfeeding mom. Knowing my neurotic, hypochrondriac tendencies (hey, I'm a doctor's daughter) he looked at the offending eyeball and we then spent about ten minutes discussing which medication would be safest for treating a pregnant lady. I left the office with two prescriptions - a drop and an ointment - filled them at the pharmacy next door, and popped a drop into my eye when I got into the car. By damn, I would kick this eye infection's ASS! Pinkeye would be sorry it ever messed with me!

...and then I glanced down at the insert that came in the little eyedrop box. PREGNANCY CATEGORY C. Bad things happened to rabbits in clinical testing. In other words, potentially harmful - not for pregnant broads.

A situation like this can best be summarized by: WHAT THE F___________K????

I raced back into the office and demanded to speak to the doctor. "Category C?" he said. "I'm sorry - that really surprises me. But don't worry - you'll be fine. It's just one drop."

As I walked back into the pharmacy where the doctor had told me they would refund my money, I heard him on the phone with the pharmacist. "Oh, no - not during pregnancy" the pharmacist said, shaking his head. By the time he got off the phone, I was approaching tears. He was pleasant and reassuring, insisting that one drop was nothing, that I would be fine, that all the tests were done with massive doses on bunnies anyway, and "bunnies get everything." Uh huh. Thanks.

So I left the good (BAHHHH!) doctor's office with the little vial of eye ointment (Pregnancy Category B, thank you very much) that would hopefully cure all my eyeball evils, and went back to my office to begin obsessing about the potential damage I could possibly have inflicted on Baby D (AKA "ALOOL" - more on that later). Fortunately, with a few swift clicks of the mouse and some handy math skills, I discovered that in order to even meet the "no observed effects level" (the level at which NO reproductive toxicity was displayed for animal studies - about one-sixth of the amount that the poor messed-up bunnies received), I would have essentially had to pour two full bottles of the eye drops into my eye in one sitting. So yeah - I'm pretty sure we're okay.

In short - not a fun way to start your week on a sunny Monday morning, eh? Well, it got even more fun when I picked up a very feverish, limp and sleepy baby at daycare that afternoon. We had just been to the pediatrician for his 18-month check-up on Saturday, two days prior, at which he was healthy as an ox (a 23.4 lb ox), and now this? Oh, glory.

So there you have it - for the past couple of days, we've been at home recuperating - me from my janky eyeball, and Carter from his wonky fever. Things got even more fun yesterday morning, when he woke up with yellow crusties in his eyes, and one corner looking a little pink. The plague spreads! Fortunately, our ped called in a prescription for him and he was able to return to school today, non-infectious. But let me tell you - nothing says fun like prying your kicking, screaming, wailing toddler's eyes open to administer drops FOUR TIMES A DAY. Nothing.

Things are looking up today. My eye has cleared up considerably, and I can now wear my contact lens instead of stumbling around half-blind. Carter's fever is gone (and the ped thinks it was a reaction to his shots from Saturday. Hrmph.).

Fingers crossed that we're all well by the weekend and can focus on fun things...like brewin' a baby.