Vexing

Ahem. I am going to complain, and that's how it's going to be. There. Consider yourself forewarned.

Yesterday morning I was applying mascara when I suddenly felt the sensation of something falling into my eye - the same perpetually sensitive, irritated eye which was infected not two weeks ago. I blinked a couple of times, and everything seemed fine - no discomfort. I went about my day.

Late yesterday afternoon, I glanced in the mirror to discover a glaring red eyeball - AGAIN. However, this time the redness was mostly localized to the upper right portion of my eye, near my iris. Hmm...perhaps I got something in it after all. Maybe there is something trapped underneath my contact lens. I will get home, take it out and be all better.

Not so. Once I arrived home and removed my lens, the redness actually increased. Then I took a shower, and it dissipated somewhat. Then it seemed to increase again. Sigh. I went to bed, hoping it would be better this morning.

Bright and early, I rushed to the bathroom mirror for inspection. A little better, but still red and certainly not normal. After dropping the Roo at daycare, I went straight to the eye doctor, for the THIRD TIME in two weeks. At this point, I was thisclose to having some kind of complete nervous breakdown. Yes, perhaps a red eye doesn't merit a nervous breakdown for most people, but how about multiple red eyeballs, multiple times, over many months. Throw in some pregnancy hormones and there you have it. Thisclose to Crazyville, USA.

Apparently, the verdict is that my eye is inflamed due to my contact lens - I cannot for the life of me repeat the word the doctor used - sclerosis? no, that sounds like a skin condition, that can't be it. Oh, well - basically, my eye is hating my contact lens now that I'm pregnant. Apparently, this is quite common, although my eyes were hunky-dory (oh god, that's an oldie but goodie - it's official, I am becoming my mother) throughout pregnancy #1. The good news: it's not an infection, so I'm not contagious and don't have to worry about spreading anything to the Roo.

So? Just wear your glasses, you'd say. Alas, no. Not an option here. You see, ten years ago I had LASIK surgery, but they could only do my right eye. The left eye has a higher prescription (blinder than blind) and a thinner cornea, so LASIK was not an option. I decided to have the right eye done anyway, because one eye that can see is certainly better than none.

In the midst of the operation, I heard THIS lovely tidbit from the eye surgeon:
"Uh-oh....Nurse, hand me that cornea."

I lay there, my 21-year-old self strapped to the operating chair, my eye wedged open Clockwork Orange-style, terrified. I wasn't certain what was supposed to happen, but I was fairly sure that "uh-oh, hand me the cornea" wasn't part of it.

Sure enough, the doctor had botched the operation, as clearly evidenced by the look of utter terror in the eyes of the nurses when they let me out of my constraints. Fortunately, he put a fake contact lens on my eye overnight and the cornea fused right back on. Now my vision in the eye is almost perfect. I can see the alarm clock in the morning. I can see faces. I can function. But glasses? Glasses aren't an option, since one lens would be coke-bottle thick and the other would be normal. Not only would it be aesthetically atrocious (think one tiny eye and one normal eye, Igor-style), I've been told that it's not actually possible to make. But 'til now, I haven't needed 'em. For ten years, I've been truckin' along with no issues, popping my one contact in and out every morning and night without a care in the world.

Until now. This pregnancy hates my eyes, much like my last pregnancy hated my teeth. Other mommies tell me that I'm so lucky because I've never had morning sickness, but ladies, I think I'd rather barf day and night for the next six months than be half-blind with a red eyeball. Just sayin'.

So I have some drops for my eye, which will hopefully clear up the current inflammation, and then I apparently have to be super-militant about reducing my contact lens wear and letting my eyes rest. If that doesn't help, the doctor suggested potentially switching to a hard lens (gasp! only my VERY blind parents wear these!!), as they apparently do not cause the same inflammation. But he said, and I second him: "I hope it doesn't come to that."

I am not ashamed to say that I broke down crying in the eye doctor's office this morning. Silly, I know - but months of eye issues plus pregnancy hormones have simply broken me down. I know it's trivial in the grand scheme of things, and I'm lucky to have a wonderful, healthy pregnancy...save for the subchorionic hematoma during the first trimester, and subsequent marginal previa evident at my last ultrasound.

Oh, did I fail to mention those? Well, if we're complaining, let's just get it all out now, shall we? Yeah, it hasn't been all rainbows and butterflies this time around, folks.

At about nine weeks, I had a little spotting. Nothing crazy, just some light pink stuff, but of course I freaked out, as I am wont to do. I went back in for a second ultrasound, and they found a very, very small (fortunately) subchoronic hematoma, which is basically a blood clot between the outer layer of the uterus and the placenta. Apparently this slightly increases the risk of miscarriage, so I was told no sex, no exercise, no lifting ("no lifting" to the mother of a toddler - haaaaa!), etc. etc. until my next ultrasound three weeks later.

Flast-forward three weeks: Happily, blood clot is GONE - absorbed back into my body, which is common. Hurrah! But wait - there's potentially another reason you were spotting - your placenta is really close to your cervix. Hrmph. Don't worry - this is common at this stage, and the placenta will rise as you get further along. It won't be placenta previa - we think. But for now, no sex for six weeks, until your next ultrasound.

So there you have it. Certainly nothing horrible, but this pregnancy hasn't been without its little bumps along the way. Toss in the janky eyeball and it's a just a PARTY.

Okay. Complaining done. I am purged. Over and out.